I remembered while making things for my wedding that I LOVE crafts. Love. I was really good at it too -- my alternative guest book, my card box, the signs and placecards, the last-minute fans. Ribbons, paint pens, calligraphy. I made like eight trips to Michaels and was never happier. Last night I Netflixed Julie and Julia, which inspired me to do something crazy and hopefully get noticed for it. I didn't exactly know what, though.
This morning, I decided I wanted to work for Martha Stewart. Somehow. Not necessarily Main Chief Head Honcho Art Director or anything, but somewhere in her empire of crafts and perfect worlds. I went straight for her site's Career Opportunities, and again got sucked in by the familiar refrain of "We are always looking for awesome people! Come work with us! We give great benefits! You know you want to! We can't wait to see you!" And I thought-replied, "I DO want to! I AM awesome! Okay!!" and looked at all their posts, some of which I could conceivably trick someone into thinking I could do long enough for me to actually figure it out. I frantically imagined crafting and blogging it every day for a year, combining it with lesson plans to do double-duty in my current career, and all the wonders it would bring into my life. In heating up the oven to half-bake this idea, I found "Hire Me Martha," a blog written by a far more qualified, more talented, more prolific crafter and baker than I could ever hope to be. She'd sent in resumes, she had connections, turns out they even gave her a guest spot on the show! And they didn't hire HER! What hope do I have!? I then remembered that "Come work with us!" translates to "We are shrewdly encouraging every last person on the planet to apply, so we can pick the top 0.0001% of candidates!" and yours truly is certainly not in the top 0.0001% of candidates. Wistful sigh! You guys, there are so many talented people out there. LOTS of people love crafts! LOTS of people are really good at them! I am a measly psych major who's now a teacher who wants to get paid to craft. How much more trite can you get than that!