Oh man, This Summer. Everything happened! I danced with Matt! I made then gave away lots of bowls, we had lots of friends over, we acquired a companion animal, our cabinets got their doors, I read Hemingway with an eleventh grader, we cleaned and cleaned some more. Pretty much everything we do now makes me feel more adult! We got a handheld vacuum! I bought fabric and hastily made temporary (?) curtains! I organized my collection of hotel-stolen toiletries and am USING THEM. I am flossing. FLOSSING. WHO EVEN AM I. I can't even list all the things we accomplished in the last eight weeks. But, you guys know me. The things that I'm most proud of, the things that have made me the absolute happiest, were these seemingly tiny changes that vastly improved the quality of my life. And all I can think now is of being free, being liberated, to fix the things that bothered me on such a miniscule level that it was tempting to forget about them. But of course! They all reached a tipping point, I fixed them, and now I am constantly filled with joy.
Ever since setting up the guest bedroom, I hated our own bedroom. The bed left three awkward feet or so on all sides, and it felt childish and clumsy. I talked a skeptical Justin into switching walls to leave a big open floor at the foot of our bed, and he eventually humored me, and it instantly made it mature, sleek and friendly! Score one for the rearranging-furniture-changes-your-life argument. It just makes so much more sense, even though I am panicking a little about when we upgrade to queen size, complete with bed frame :( . WILL ALL MY FURNITURE ARRANGING DREAMS BE CRUSHED AGAIN
But this change, this one cannot be undone, even with certain future upgrades. If you've been to our house, you have certainly seen, if not used, the World's Worst Toilet Seat. I humbly apologize to everyone for its existence ESPECIALLY if you used it. If it makes you feel any better, I used it way more than you did, and was furious about it every time. If you haven't seen it, or if you have and would like a refresher course: It was one of those cushion ones, except it had a slice in a side from which the yellow (original color I THINK) foam burst out, especially with shower humidity. The foam was also dysfunctional in one side so that you felt some weird plastic grid in the seat when you sat on it. The white was starting to fade into a weird bluish (I know) glow (?). By this point I know you're thinking, Pam, what is wrong with you, that sounds like the grossest thing in the world. And you would be right. But you know what else was the grossest thing in the world? EVERYTHING IN OUR HOUSE UNTIL LIKE THREE WEEKS AGO. It got lost in the shuffle of the chopped-up five-layer floor, rotting cabinets, marker on the walls, chewed up bathroom door, and the various holes (ranging from scores of nail-size to 4" diameter) in bedroom walls and ceilings. But ANYWAY. You also probably know that this whole process is taking eons longer than we imagined, so you may not be surprised to hear that I realized this was one super-gross thing I could fix, so I bought a reclaimed wood toilet seat at 7 am one morning. It was the best $10 I ever spent. After some finagling with weird, cheap plastic screws and nuts, I eventually, triumphantly tore the wretched thing out, scrubbed where it was on our pink and teal (no joke) toilet, engineered some parts to fit, and screwed the new shiny seat in. And I nearly wept with delight. It is SOLID and REAL and WHITE and CLEAN. I still look at it admiringly when I pass it by.
So, another silly event, another life lesson learned. Let your anger stir you into change. The longer you're angry, the more time you're wasting that you could be happy. I was limiting myself and didn't know it; this creativity and possibility with the whole house reminded me just how much power we have to make these minor adjustments that renew us. Best summer ev-- well, since last summer.