Two ornaments

Total ornaments: 42
Trips out to get tree lights: 2
Minutes spent analyzing tree lights in stores: 47
Number of products of tree lights bought: 3
Attempts to light tree: 5
Outlets tried: 4
Figuring out it was your extension cord that was faulty the whole time: priceless

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

Guys!  Is it me, or is EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD CHANGING.  All kinds of changes!  Here are some things that I can't believe are changing, all at the same time.

1. WEBSITES.  All my favorite places decided to update their look simultaneously*!  The Google suite is lookin' fine (sorry Justin).  Groupon adapted itself to be more visually appealing.  I'm JUST NOW noticing Pandora's change (sorry P, I got hooked on ITunes' Genius mixes for a while!  SORRY), which is gorgeous.  Yes, the new newsfeed on FB is a tad excessive, but may I say I am totally psyched for Timeline.  It's going to be clutch.  Also mad props to PGCPS for finally hiring some sort of marketing/communication/PR/social media/website facelift team!  You guys did an amazing job!  Our new look is completely svelte and sexy without that incredibly goofy foam finger-esque KIDS ARE #1 or whatever.  And good old Citibank!  I know we've had our differences, but your website is finally leaving 1999 territory!  Good for you!!!  
2. MY JOB COMPARED TO PREVIOUS YEARS.  Holy smokes.  Every day when I leave school, I feel like I just got there.  I spend my days coordinating meetings, having meetings, dealing with emergencies, fixing other people's mistakes, and every once in a while, making and fixing my own.  I don't mind the work!  I quite enjoy it!  But I can't do that AND teach children.  Days go by where I didn't go into a single classroom at all.  When people say they need more hours in the day, I think they mean it a little differently than I do.  I don't mind doing the (not-as-urgent) emails, logs, notes, and plans at home (for now); I need the working hours to be longer.  I need children and staff in the building for more hours!  I need everyone all together, available for longer.  Sigh.  It's like I'm the foreman, but I also have to do some of the construction myself alongside everyone else.  Also, you know how all I want to do is manage the fun and success of students?  And how I compulsively volunteer for things when no one else does?  Put those together and imagine how much I want to volunteer to be the still-unfilled chairperson for awards ceremonies, or of something called character education!  IMAGINE HOW MUCH.  The answer is SO MUCH.  But I am not letting myself!  Because that would officially be biting off more than I can proverbially chew.  And I am SO SAD.  Next year, I reassure myself!  Next year I'll have a handle and literally max out the emoluments I can get at one instructional leadership role and two clubs/committees.  One fine day!
3. THE WEATHER.  I think I'll start fasting now to make room for all the apple pies I'm going to make Justin make me.
4. CONFIDENCE.  Gosh.  I've gotten so much more confident in the last year or so, and it's accelerating again!  I am officially not terrified of the Jam Cellar anymore!  I am honing my 'management' skills to be pleasant, helpful, thorough, yet firm and maintain high expectations.  I'm starting to buy more real clothes instead of convincing myself I should stick with that awkward polyester blouse that was a hand-me-down from a stranger via a 50-year-old former housemate.  Not sure how I can verbalize how that ties in with confidence, but trust me, it does.  Relatedly, one of my goals for this school year is to always feel like I look good.  Isn't that odd?  Shouldn't that be a given?  Alas!  I've left the house more often than I care to admit feeling really uncomfortable with what I was wearing, like a middle schooler trying hard to believe she looked okay and not completely stupid.  And then I'd get to school and pass myself in a window or mirror and be like UGH WHY DID I WEAR THIS and it would make me mad all day long.  Well, NO MORE
5. TASTE IN MUSIC.  Fortunately, this isn't 'change' so much as 'expand' which is obviously still change but not one in place of another.  I've started to love jazz outside of swing dancing!  Here's a track I've had on repeat for so long, I finally broke and made a Pandora station out of it.  Oh man.
6. And finally FINISHING TOUCHES.  You'd think I'd be one of those people who made sure everything had an adorable, perfect finishing touch, right?  Every little thing in place?  Ironically, you'd be half wrong!  For my insanely awesome school projects I did up to and including age 18: totally.  For my wedding: yes, absolutely.  In decorating the office at school: not so much!  Crazy and unlike me, huh!  I'm in the process of making sure that everything I do has details to match.  The devil, they say, is in them.  So like the clothes thing above (the devil is in the ... accessories?), or when it comes to home decor, etc.  No more settling for 'good enough'!  There is time and reason to make it shine.

So, here's to changes.  Sometimes, the more things change, the more things... change.

*Weather.com JUST BARELY did not make the cut to be included in 'simultaneously.'  But they still get a shout-out for joining the 21st century layout a few months ago!  Nice work weather.com!

Also, I CAN'T EVEN

It's that time of year! Plus, NRM update!

So the calendar says summer is over, the weather is about to agree (high of 72 is in the ten-day!), and we will finally have a five-day week of school (barring, of course, tornadoes, volcanoes or the black death).  You know what that means!  I love fall as much as anyone else who says her favorite season is fall, but I AM PUMPED FOR CHRISTMAS.  Getting excited too early is par for the course, but it is kicked up a notch this year because it's our first Christmas with a house!  And real neighbors!  And our own appliances!  I am going to combine these three awesome things into one by baking tins of delicious treats for our very welcoming neighbors.  We're going to have a tree!  And real stockings!  AND A DOG OMG

But it isn't even Halloween yet, so I'm going to try to chill my gills over here.  Speaking of which, I literally realized The Greatest Halloween Costumes for Justin and me last year on NOVEMBER 1 (I'm sure you can imagine how mad I was at myself for such horrible timing, but it was a pretty sweet Halloween anyway), so we're just hanging out waiting for the Halloween party invites to come pouring in.  Any day now, that non-water-proof mailbox of ours will be bursting with them, I know it. 

For those of you keeping track at home, we are currently 11 days into another No Restaurant Month.  But!  We like to be neither insane nor lonely, so we make exceptions when we're eating out with friends, like I did with my birthday friend Kathryne the other night at everyone's favorite birthday restaurant, Guardado's!  I could eat their tapas every day and be happy about it.  In fact, I decided to recreate one of them at home, so Justin and I hit up the cheese shop in Wegman's, and, well, we may have spent some money on some cheese.  And!  Justin's been sick this past week, so sick that one day he bought a breakfast sandwich in some kind of woozy haze, completely oblivious to NRM.  Haha, oh well!  AND we're going out with MORE friends on Thursday, so this NRM is a little more lax than last year.  But for just the two of us, we're doing great!  We've had picnics with friends and packed lunches when we knew we'd be out all day, how adorable is that.  I just made this and I'm about to combine these two recipes, who even am I!  Wish us continued luck!

PS - I meant to introduce There Should Be last time.  Sometimes we have good ideas that we're pretty sure don't exist yet.  If they do exist, please let one of us know.  If they don't exist, but you can invent it, PLEASE DO SO.  Here are some more!

You know what there should be?  There should be an app that uses GPSes so precise and so powerful that they can guide you to available street parking.  Can you even imagine driving in DC or any other over-trafficked city?  It would be SO MUCH BETTER.  There should also be a function on cars where your wheels turn 90 degrees and drive perfectly sideways, and those people who are terrified to parallel park need fear no more.  There should also be an app where you take a picture of a dog, and it spits out its breed(s).  Bonus for what percentage of what breeds it is.

See what I mean?  SUCH GOOD IDEAS THAT WE ARE INCAPABLE OF INVENTING :'(  I feel like we should team up with that commercial about getting your idea patented, with the caveman and the guy who invented an off-brand slip-n-slide.

Goodbye summer, toilet seat

Oh man, This Summer.  Everything happened!  I danced with Matt!  I made then gave away lots of bowls, we had lots of friends over, we acquired a companion animal, our cabinets got their doors, I read Hemingway with an eleventh grader, we cleaned and cleaned some more.  Pretty much everything we do now makes me feel more adult!  We got a handheld vacuum!  I bought fabric and hastily made temporary (?) curtains!  I organized my collection of hotel-stolen toiletries and am USING THEM.  I am flossing.  FLOSSING.  WHO EVEN AM I.  I can't even list all the things we accomplished in the last eight weeks.  But, you guys know me.  The things that I'm most proud of, the things that have made me the absolute happiest, were these seemingly tiny changes that vastly improved the quality of my life.  And all I can think now is of being free, being liberated, to fix the things that bothered me on such a miniscule level that it was tempting to forget about them.  But of course!  They all reached a tipping point, I fixed them, and now I am constantly filled with joy.

Ever since setting up the guest bedroom, I hated our own bedroom.  The bed left three awkward feet or so on all sides, and it felt childish and clumsy.  I talked a skeptical Justin into switching walls to leave a big open floor at the foot of our bed, and he eventually humored me, and it instantly made it mature, sleek and friendly!  Score one for the rearranging-furniture-changes-your-life argument.  It just makes so much more sense, even though I am panicking a little about when we upgrade to queen size, complete with bed frame :( .  WILL ALL MY FURNITURE ARRANGING DREAMS BE CRUSHED AGAIN

But this change, this one cannot be undone, even with certain future upgrades.  If you've been to our house, you have certainly seen, if not used, the World's Worst Toilet Seat.  I humbly apologize to everyone for its existence ESPECIALLY if you used it.  If it makes you feel any better, I used it way more than you did, and was furious about it every time.  If you haven't seen it, or if you have and would like a refresher course:  It was one of those cushion ones, except it had a slice in a side from which the yellow (original color I THINK) foam burst out, especially with shower humidity.  The foam was also dysfunctional in one side so that you felt some weird plastic grid in the seat when you sat on it.  The white was starting to fade into a weird bluish (I know) glow (?).  By this point I know you're thinking, Pam, what is wrong with you, that sounds like the grossest thing in the world.  And you would be right.  But you know what else was the grossest thing in the world?  EVERYTHING IN OUR HOUSE UNTIL LIKE THREE WEEKS AGO.  It got lost in the shuffle of the chopped-up five-layer floor, rotting cabinets, marker on the walls, chewed up bathroom door, and the various holes (ranging from scores of nail-size to 4" diameter) in bedroom walls and ceilings.  But ANYWAY.  You also probably know that this whole process is taking eons longer than we imagined, so you may not be surprised to hear that I realized this was one super-gross thing I could fix, so I bought a reclaimed wood toilet seat at 7 am one morning.  It was the best $10 I ever spent.  After some finagling with weird, cheap plastic screws and nuts, I eventually, triumphantly tore the wretched thing out, scrubbed where it was on our pink and teal (no joke) toilet, engineered some parts to fit, and screwed the new shiny seat in.  And I nearly wept with delight.  It is SOLID and REAL and WHITE and CLEAN.  I still look at it admiringly when I pass it by. 

So, another silly event, another life lesson learned.  Let your anger stir you into change.  The longer you're angry, the more time you're wasting that you could be happy.  I was limiting myself and didn't know it; this creativity and possibility with the whole house reminded me just how much power we have to make these minor adjustments that renew us.  Best summer ev-- well, since last summer.

Summer: So far, so good

So you may have heard that, one week ago, we got a dog!  Her name is Bellow, and she is a springer/spaniel mix who will turn two in two days.  We got her from the place I used to volunteer, until I had a run-in with a frustrated, chomp-happy dog who I think got put down for being unadoptable.  But Bellow was anything but!  We actually went to see another dog by the name of Dizzy, who turned out to be interested in anything but us.  Fine, Dizzy!  Be that way!  See if we care!  We also got The Look from this other dog, Wink, who, when outside with us in her interview, cuddled up to us as well as pranced around with a ball.  Interested in toys, the outside world, AND us?  We were sold, and her super soft fur sealed the deal.  Two days later, we went back and got her and renamed her after Justin's favorite author.

We took her home to construction of bookshelves and installation of major kitchen appliances, and she was super psyched even amid all the potentially scary noises.  She ran from person to person, totally frantically happy.  I think she sat or lied down twice that day, and as soon as someone blinked, she was up again.  We were a little concerned for her heart.  But since then!  She has calmed down considerably, except for when we come home, when she wags her tail so hard and falls into you so much that her tail actually whips her snout.  Oh Bellow!  She also doesn't eat very much, which is good for our budget and her extra few pounds for now but we'll probably want to stabilize that in the future.  We think she's learned her name, she knows 'sit,' and kind of 'stay,' and she's definitely housebroken.  In progress: Not pulling us all over creation when we walk her.

here's a pretty typical picture.

When I'm not couchin' with the dog, I'm making glass (!) dishes and throwing (!) bowls!  And also tutoring!  And, you know, dancing.  And eating copious amounts of succotash.  And trying to compost (ha, I almost wrote 'compose.'  I am definitely not trying to compose), but neighborhood animals know we don't get out the the meadow that often and they eat all my carefully saved scraps!  I hate nature.  I bought a compost crate and everything.  I should write a sad paragraph about that.  Anyway.  Here are my things so far!  Maybe I can sell them on Etsy for millions.

that hole was the fault of the person firing it, i guess?  in exchange, they gave me a free class!

group shot of my FIRST attempts at pottery!

For more, see 'sculpture' and 'other'!

Stay tuned for another post later this week, after my life will be forever changed, for I will have danced badly with Matt in Baltimore.

Also: BE MILD and HEARTS.

House and lists, you know, the usual

Whoa Nellie!  Guys, so much happened!  There was VBLX then there was the last week of school then there was Monday, the last day for teachers then there was the first week of summer and here we are.  Here is what I left before VBLX:

And here is what I came back to!:

NOTE THE LACK OF WALL

from the other side!  IT'S SO BRIGHT

Look at that!  Half a wall gone!  Recessed lights in!  A trash can with a lid!  I have been OVERJOYED every moment since I first saw this!  I cannot even believe it.  An open kitchen is basically the only thing I've ever wanted.  Now, if those stairs to the basement weren't there on the right, it could be the most open thing ever, but I'll take what I can get.  The fridge being clear on the other side of everything makes it feel EVEN BIGGER.  But it's not all fun and games: Turns out our kitchen floor has five, count 'em, five, layers to it.  A base of plywood, followed by linoleum, then another design of linoleum, then ceramic (!), then whatever that weird wood-looking thing is on top.  So.  When that's ripped up, the kitchen will be like four inches higher.  Sigh.  The office is painted though, which has inspired me to take it upon myself to prep all the rest of the rooms for painting and start them asap.  I am just so much happier in a freshly painted room that it outweighs the risk of getting it chipped in the rest of the construction!  I will happily repaint an inch to make up for jumping the gun... months early.  We're grateful and happy and everything, but it is taking waayyyy longer than we ever imagined.  We kind of thought Rar would live here and go out for jobs for the company every now and then.  Turns out it's the opposite; he works for his other son like a regular job, and he does our thing on the weekends from around 7 to 2.  Small sigh. 

Goals for Summer 2011

• learn the potter's wheel
• paint the house
• tutor!?
• make all the sandwiches (ok, most of the sandwiches)
• start my Sad Paragraph Tutorial.  Turns out many, many people arrive at this blog by searching "sad paragraph," for which this post is the third FIRST result in all the world, according to Google.  Said sad paragraph is about uprooting my pumpkins last year.  But why is everyone googling sad paragraph?  Do they want examples?  Do they want to learn how to write one?  Are they too happy and need to be brought down a little?  I hope to cater to this niche market by giving the people what they want.  And they apparently want sad paragraphs. 
•  become closer to being a Real Adult

Here is a BONUS SET OF LISTS FOR YOU

Things I Like

• inspiring children to succeed
• motivated, employable children
• smart people
• being safe
• my "Chamber Pop Mix" on iTunes Genius Mixes.  It's like Pandora One but better.
• donating to charity
• Rita's custard
• blueberries

Things I Dislike

• gangs
• people who don't try at anything
• unreasonable people
• cilantro

Another roller coaster week.

Guys.  There were seriously days this past week where the house was not going to happen at all and I had to sit and think about how I was going to break this atrocious news to all of you.  I don't mean, like, Justin and I were preparing for the worst -- I mean that for hours and days at a time, it had legit fallen through.  But by the skin of our teeth, sanity prevailed.  Recently we've had to rush-order a termite treatment and pray like crazy that the rain held out (it did), prove that shelves were not, in fact, load-bearing (they weren't), buy appliances and have them scheduled for delivery on closing day or after (they will be), and get all our friends to come out and help us that day (some are).  (Stay tuned for the world premiere of the Move-In Day 2011 Music Video.)

Rar and a notice to PLEASE cut the grass

Thanks for the windows and doorknobs, Rar!

Drawing I, check!  The last class I basically spent on my portfolio -- ironically, on the other portfolio than the one I spent the rest of the classes drawing for.  Paul was so nice all semester but pretty adamant that we show up, even if we'd already had our portfolio review (I had mine last Thursday.  It went well.).  So I showed up, hung out with my drawing friends, ate cookies and analyzed teaching then drew a super old typewriter just in case he checked up on us.  (It's not that great, so I won't waste your time posting it :/ But my painting final is now up! :) )  I totally loved a few people from drawing, but none of us went through the motions of being facebook friends or getting numbers or anything.  Sigh!  Sometimes it's a relief of reality but also a spark of sadness that you're not even going to pretend to want to read sporadic or constant updates about their vacations and their cousins.  Even though I do want to read those!  I totally do.  Up next, Parks and Rec ceramics. 

Also, in celebration of having finished this gargantuan teaching portfolio, let me take a moment to reflect on my reflections.  I turned a corner at some point with this crazy thing and actually got excited to make it all fancy and thorough.  It's really reminded me that even though there's all kinds of things wrong at that school, there's all kinds of things right too.  It's been an inspiring reminder.  Whenever I've done assignments for it at school (meaning, there's been tons of things I have to do in the classroom before I write about it and submit student work samples for the portfolio), I feel so ... sound.  Doing those things made me feel like such a good teacher.  Sigh!  Someday I'll teach in the right capacity.  Certificate available 7/1!

Today we stopped at an Open Barn.  We drive past this stable all the time and wave to these happy horses who wear coats too far into the year.  The lady was so animal-intuitive!  She talked to us for a solid 45 minutes about her horses.  She said, "I can tell the kind of day you're having by the way my horse reacts when you're on it."  Isn't that incredible!  I know animals know auras and storms and cancer and everything else but to hear such evidence (she provided examples!) was so astounding.  I was astounded! 

I leave you tonight with Braeden's reflections on how he has grown in the subject of reading:

2010, 2011

Accomplishments of Varying Import and Gravitas

1. Survived Snowpacolypse '10.
2. Integrated into a new and crazy elementary school.
3. Um, planned a wedding.  A phenomenal one, if I do say so myself.
   
4. Finished my first year of teaching!
   
5. Got married to the love of my life; celebrated with many of those nearest and dearest to us.
   
6. Rode horses!
7. Climbed the Billy Goat Trail!
8. Had my name thoroughly misunderstood the same way by several completely independent people (get this -- "Tambal").
9. SAN FRANCISCO.
10. Sent our first batch of homemade, married couple Christmas cards!
11. Hugged, a lot.
    

Resolutions.  Goals, more like.  You know the drill.

1. Greenhouse.  Duh.  (UPDATE:  Talked to Frank at Janco Greenhouses today!  He is very nice and wants me to send pictures to avoid the estimate fee!  That is the first thing I will do when I set foot back at school!  I am MORE EXCITED THAN I CAN SAY)
2. Moisturize.  I hear that's kind of a big deal.  Especially in winter.  Justin doesn't understand why I just spent $9 (with a coupon!) on a bottle of moisturizer with SPF 15 -- and it's not even the face-only kind that I probably should have gotten! -- but he'll be fine.
   
3. Dude.  (Try to) buy more organic.  Or at least, grass-fed/reasonable conditions type of food.  I always made fun of those hoity-toity types but we just watched Food Inc. and it was pretty ridiculous.  Something simple but profound that they said (at the end, which attempted to be uplifting) was that every time an item is scanned at the grocery store, it's a vote to keep that item on the shelves.  Hm.  Yes.  Yes it is.  I remain blown away by this silly fact.  There was this whole thing about corn being subsidized by the government, and some form of corn is in 2/3 of all items ever, and that's why junk food is so cheap and healthy food is so expensive and it was super dumb.  What a dumb idea.  Also it turns out everyone in the FDA used to work for the very corporations they're supposed to regulate.  Again, crazy dumb.  They are so dumb, they are really dumb, for real.  Sigh.  Anyway!  All that to say, not to be a health freak, but try to buy more organic.  Also, warn Mint that we're about to buy more organic.  Oops.

2011: Bring it.

Tell them I've skipped town, looking for flash mobs

So I had mostly written this whole big rant about how we're absurdly cautious to offend (so much so, that it offends me) in our society but then I got distracted and went on to my facebook tab and Mama Nicol had posted this and now tears won't stop streaming down my face and I can't possibly write about dumb things after watching it on repeat.  I basically just died.

I am reclaiming Christmas.

You guys.  As completely expected, I am mucho into Christmas.  Wedding crafting preemptively inspired all sorts of festive joy around this most darling of holidays.  I went to Michael's about three weeks ago and came back with $50 of specialty papers, stamps, and punches.  I am so happy!  Last night was officially Round 1, complete with a Christmas station on Pandora, which continues to play behind this very post.  You guys.  They're so great.  Each one is different.  Also as completely expected, the first two are pretty lame, then I found my groove.  Oops.  A Yankee Candle kept me company.  As I said, joy!

Also, my pants are all in a tizzy over presents.  Due to a powerful suggestion from my better half, I'm (we're!) getting everyone close to me (us) a smallish present.  This completely flies in the face of my family's heretofore unquestioned "Secret Santa" tradition.  At once providing mystery and frugality, Secret Santa was fantastic before I realized otherwise.  Drawing the names at Thanksgiving had always been super fun, once I was old enough to be included.  Over the years, however, it has devolved into an email chain featuring everyone in the family stating a wishlist of three extremely specific things.  Earrings, various books, knee-high socks; pens, more various books, an alma mater sweatshirt.  No offense!, potentially reading family; I'm not blaming anyone.  We all just got caught in this amazingly dry, uncreative rut.  Certainly everyone wanted the things he asked for, and certainly we are all Very Busy People who lack the time (and energy?) to searching for that inspired present, but in reality, this Secret Santa game was little more than seeing who ended up funding the item you were about to buy for yourself anyway.  Look, it had taken the excitement out of the whole thing!  Perfectly enough, the one year that really stands out to me was the year that my cousin's wife bucked the trend and bought me something that was not only not on my wishlist, but I never would have considered altogether -- a simple travel mug and gift card to Starbucks!  But more importantly, a travel mug!  With a lid!  It changed my life!  I cannot imagine college without it; it was with me everywhere, every day,* from my daily 7:30 am job at the preschool to running subjects to studying at the Reg.  Or, more likely, Harper. 

Now.  I am in no way advocating Christmas as a commercial endeavor where the point is that we all spend lots of money on everyone.  I am, however, advocating Christmas as a time to step back, be joyful and excited, and give in such a way that reflects joy and excitement.  And how much joy and excitement is there in creativity and surprise!  So much!  So, so much!  There's an unfortunate pressure attached to gift-giving, involving the $ spent, the practicality versus the superfluity of the gift, and the relationship between giver and receiver and trying to find a gift that describes that relationship to the proverbial t.  If we let go of, say, three of those pressures, look how unabashedly we'd give!  Travel mugs for everyone! 

True to form, we didn't register for our wedding, and we got all kinds of fantastic things we didn't even know we wanted.  Vases!  A cheese serving set!  A red Japanese dinner plate set, complete with teapot!  Of course, we got things we didn't especially want, but the point is that that is OKAY!  We'll find something else to do with them and all will be well!  No post on gifting would be complete without, arguably, my favorite (material) present of all time, and the least possible to ask for.  It was a tablecloth, for my twelfth birthday, by my very crafty neighbor, a delightful and inspirational lady.  All she did was take an enormous piece of white cloth and write "Happy Birthday Pam" and twelve candles, balloons, and swirls all over it in rainbow fabric paint pens.  The edges aren't even finished, but I don't care!  I understand that this present probably cost $4 to make, but I don't care!  I have written her five or six thank-you notes over the years, reminding her how much I love it and that I put it out every year.  Look!  Simple, delicious gifts!  Creative, out-on-a-limb, thinking-of-you!  Little makes me happier.  To give or receive.

All that to say.  I am reclaiming Christmas.  Presents.  Handmade cards.  An itty bitty something to say, you are wonderful.

*Until that fateful day that I left it after a big psych department meeting in G134, remembered later that day and thought, Oh, I am there all the time, I pretty much live there, surely my travel mug with its lid will be sitting on that counter waiting for me right where I left it I AM SO SORRY MARY :'(

Five Easy Pieces

Price and Quality

(or, Surprising Things That You Legitimately Thought You Could Buy on the Cheap but You Should Really Invest in Higher Quality Of)

1. Dish soap and sponges
2. Undershirts
3. Tights

Music and Choice

Have you ever noticed that songs sound so much better on the radio than when you specifically play them on a CD (those of us who still bother with CDs)?  I love MGMT's Kids; it takes me back to October 2008, and all the good and bad that entails.  I played that song, track 4 on CD #3 in our car's rotation of six, over and over.  I love the music and that line about a family of trees wanting to be haunted.  Then, as lots of people do with lots of songs, I forgot about it.  I got hooked on Pandora (case in point, right now).  An edgy local morning radio show became my new commute soundtrack.  I got all wrapped up in the Top 40 again, and just when it was out of my thoughts completely, Kids started popping up on whatever radio station is preset 2 in the car.  I was overjoyed!  It was a completely different experience on the radio.  Does the better-ness have to do with the knowledge that many, many other people are listening to it with you from that same source at that same moment?  Is it the bond you feel with the radio station for agreeing that it's a great song?  Is it the surprise factor, that you didn't choose it, but here it is, something you love, for you?  The combination of all of these makes it that much sadder when you turn on the station only in time to catch the last few notes -- crap, I love that song! -- and, inspired and reminded, find track 4 from CD 3, and it's just so ... weak.  You chose it.  You put it on.  You're the only one listening.  What's the fun in that!

Rashay and Bus Patrol

There is a child, who, by virtue of Bus Patrol, I'm trying to exit from special education.  He is so much more "with it" than most special ed kids.  I can say that because I'm a special ed teacher.  He's capable, mature, polite, and, for the most part, full of effort.  When I got to my new school in January of last year, I was told I wouldn't have to worry much about him, he'd be leaving special ed soon anyway.  Ok!  Cue his annual review in March.  Imagine my surprise to find all sorts of testing in the Basic category!  (Basic, being the lowest of three categories: Basic, Proficient, and Advanced.  Stay tuned for another post on how ludicrous it is that "Proficient" has been bent to mean "On Grade Level," and how further ludicrous that "On Grade Level" spans scores from 50% to 70%.  Where I come from, 50% means you failed by a mile, not you're on grade level, in other words average, which is now apparently called Proficient.  For our purposes today, pretend that "Proficient" is amazing.)  So, I tested Rashay, all the time, for my literacy class.  Also bear in mind that testing is more than half the battle, or so they would have you think.  He read for me, he comprehended for me, he wrote for me.  I cracked down in class when I caught him not paying attention.  I gave him heart-to-hearts about doing well.  But you know what I really think finally pushed him over the edge -- being chosen for Bus Patrol.  I wish it had been my idea; it was his homeroom/reading/social studies teacher with whom I work closely.  When I asked teachers for their suggestions, staying a little bit out of the selection myself, not taking my own advice to use it for kids who needed a push, "Yeah, Rashay, Rashay's a good kid.  Pick him."  OH YEAH.  Having delivered the YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN papers in the 5th and 6th grade lunch period, he waved me back to incredibly sincerely whisper, "Thank you."  There is no Special Ed Bus Patrol; I take no prisoners.  It is made crystal clear to all 15 of them, all the time, that their spot on this most prestigious of clubs depends 100% on academics and behavior.  Both, obviously, have to be stellar, all the time.  Bus Patrol (and, therefore, I) is (am) one of the last few institutions that can absolutely demand high performance.  A girl handed me her belt in an astoundingly mature move to resign, having earned a D on a few math tests and therefore on her report card.  I just kicked off a tiny Chinese girl for not turning in three quarters of an enormous social studies project.  I'm not kidding around, and they know it.  Rashay's October standardized tests: Proficient.

Serious and Adorable*

I think that's the best way to characterize the combination of things I totally love.  Like, bus drivers waving at each other when they pass.  My by-the-book, no-nonsense principal wearing a huge Cat-in-the-Hat getup for Dr. Suess's birthday.  I have two favorite facts, and they both involve this tension: One is that you can sing The Rime of the Ancient Mariner to the tune of Gilligan's Island, and the other is that there was a Pope Hilarious.  My newest discovery under this heading is that Eminem keeps a guest bedroom specifically for when 50 Cent comes over.  I cannot describe, you guys.  I love this.

*Justin and Pam

*See also: http://www.strindbergandhelium.com/

Four Group-Discount Adventures

Friends!  There have been no fewer than FOUR Groupon or Groupon-spinoff events in the last two weeks, and they have all featured their own brand of novelty!  Here they are, in order of appearance:

1. Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum!  So, trust me, I knew even before I bought them, before they ever came up on Specialicious, that Justin would have less than zero interest.  But I, I!  I love this kind of thing!  My theater days are not so far behind me that I have forgotten the magic of the real-but-fake arts.  Although I know very few celebrities, I have always been dying to go.  And it was indeed impressive, starting with Beyonce's guided tour video of how they made her figure.  I can, however, admit that several aspects of it were slightly questionable!  It's super short, as all the reviews will tell you.  And it ends with Joan Rivers, which is pretty disappointing in and of itself.  But apparently, no matter the time period, all the presidents were SUPER TALL.  The Kennedys were represented as being like 5'11!  Each!  Justin and I questioned historical height. 10/16.

   

   look alikes!

   
   

    
2. "Mr. and Mrs." (aka Post-Wedding Engagement) Photo Shoot!  Here is a shoot that the Races can really get behind!  Our trooper Justin posed, kissed, and hugged like a champ for an hour and change at our new favorite gardens.  My ampersand, apples, pumpkins and chalkboards were all put to good use, and despite his doubts and grumbling, Justin ended up really enjoying it too.  I, of course, had the best time.  We got a few congratulations, which we happily accepted.  Pictures hopefully to come soon!  Watch for the one Justin staged himself, which includes me sitting in a tree and him attempting to hug both me and a large branch.  Christmas card or Awkward Family Photos, I can't decide.  Both?? 10/23.
3. Maryland Small Arms Firing Range!  So, trust me, I knew even before I bought them, before they ever came up on LivingSocial, that I would have less than zero interest.  But Justin, Justin!  Justin had been longing to shoot the firearm for many moons now.  Itching for the real deal instead of plastic, zombies, and Dave and Buster's, he'd been mentioning going to a shooting range ever since a friend showed us his collection of bullets and firearms several months ago.  It was going to be their bonding thing; they were going to become Real Dude Friends over guns and the many manly things that went along with that.  I tried to bow out of it before it was even scheduled.  I would tell both my husband and this couple that I definitely did not want any part of this, I would watch from the outside, I didn't want to shoot any guns.  When you make plans to go out with another couple, however, it's generally accepted that both parties of the couple attend.  So I went.  And I almost died.  Not of a bullet, but of such intense dislike of every aspect of the place.  Once in the shooting hallway, filled with smoke, flying casings, and other shooters, I jolted at every bang I heard.  Naturally, there were a lot of bangs.  Loud bangs.  Friends, I jump a mile high when a balloon pops, I contort into a hunched, nearly paralyzed, severe cringe at the sound of the oxygen machine blowing up balloons in case the filler overfills and pops the balloon.  Can you picture me at a shooting range -- at a small, indoor shooting range!  My convulsions alerted me that it might not be the safest idea for me to shoot at all, and I signaled to these kind and well-meaning and gun-comfortable people, through all our headphones, that I was leaving.  I never even touched the gun.  I was relieved and not entirely surprised to see Justin already in the parking lot, trying to stop trembling.  Shooting is not for the Races. 10/24.
4. Spirit of Washington Dinner Cruise!  This came up on Groupon itself, and I fell over with joy.  Half price tickets for a three-hour tour of the Potomac and a fancy schmancy dinner buffet!  Justin says, of his initial reaction to the Groupon, "Yeah, I was game, but I never thought we'd actually do it."  That's where I came in.  I insisted we do it.  A dinner cruise!  It sat and sat, during our super boring summer where we did nothing, and then the school year started, and we didn't do anything then either.  So I scheduled it for this past Friday, and it was amazing.  We forwent fancy clothes, because it was pretty cold, and we had no idea what we were getting ourselves into.  Turns out we were getting ourselves into something with the classy food of a wedding, and the entertainment of a middle school dance.  Slash talent show.  There was a

   

   
   

   hilarious deep-voiced DJ and three ridiculous waiters who dressed up in glitter vests, sang and danced their hearts out.  They weren't very good at it, but they were very enthusiastic about whatever they were doing, but the overall point is that my joy at the entire situation drowned out any distaste for their objectively sub-awesome performances.  The dance floor called my name -- the cha cha slide?  The electric...slide?  Some new slide called the Cupid?  Guys.  I can't help this kind of thing.  I have to do it.  I love it so.  Also, turns out it's perfectly okay not to dress up.  It's perfectly okay to wear anything you like.  From our LBD bachelorette party, to our classy old couples, to our just-engaged lovers to our mid-dating hooch-it-up ladies and their she-made-me-wear-this dudes.  The entire time, amidst it all, we couldn't believe what was happening.  We were on a dinner cruise!  We were getting serenaded!  We went out on the deck several times for views of the DMV skyline and the stars!  We were next to a group of four people who didn't look very happy about anything that was going on.  But one of them happily took our picture!  Thank you, friendly angry man! 10/29.

Numbered List: FALL EDITION

I have a post in my heart about how ridiculous education is.  I can't write it.  Tonight, at least.  Or pretty much in this blog in general.

Instead, I will leave you with Happy Fall Thoughts:

1. Brookside Gardens!  We are so excited to explore a new garden and have our backwards engagement session brought to us by Groupon!  I have mini pumpkins and apples.  And an ampersand.  Justin is being a good sport.
2. We have been working on a still life in painting.  Our midterm.  It's pumpkins (two huge orange, one super light green, two a weird super light orangey-green), and a few lemons.  Apparently my gentle painting teacher has no say over which still lifes are left set up in the classroom, so anything we paint is on the condition it's still there in the future.  Furthermore, the fruit/vegetables on display will be rotting kind of soon.  In describing this condition, and in encouraging us to try to finish during Thursday's session, Tim instructed us to "paint like it's your last day."  He meant, of course, like it's your last day with the still life in front of you.  But I took the opportunity, as I frequently do, to take his words out of context and apply them to life.  Paint like it's your last day.  "Tim, you're so inspiring!"  He chuckled.
3. How did baseball evolve?  I think I can see the progress of most famous sports.  Get a ball into a certain area -- don't hit people.  Too hard.  But baseball!  Starts out innocently enough: hit a ball with a stick.  Bases really throw me for a loop.  Hit a ball with a stick, then run in a circle.  Strategically.  Baseball might very well be the most complicated sport.
4. Fall always makes me wish I could run.  :(
5. Pumpkin Spice Latte coming up, I can feel it!!
6. Marriages are everywhere.  This is so awesomely exciting and renewing my faith in humanity.
7. Magazines are also everywhere.  Somehow I got myself into some sort of subscription/free trial mess and I currently have one Whole Living and two Real Simples waiting for me.  (Dude.  Real Simples are NOT, in fact, real simple.  They are like 400 pages a piece.  Not even kidding.  What is this, InStyle?)  This is on the heels of my last Whole Living and The Nest.  I rarely use anything from them, but recently I decided I am in love with young-ish-housewife type magazines.  They're so...seasonal!
8. Fall candles: Coming soon to a living room near you.  Mmmm.
9. Also: B8HOVN.  I pretty much died.  We were crossing a street as the composer was turning towards us onto our road; my jaw dropped, I grabbed Husband's arm and pointed wildly.  I hope that gentle musical family understood.  I was so happy.

The Six-Month Itch

What is it about these moderate seasons of transition that inspire cleaning and organization?  The overhaul at the start of spring is more famous than its younger cousin who usually just gets referred to as "new school supplies."  Also, if spring signals new life, fall correspondingly signals the beginning of death.  But in terms of detox and starting anew, I dare say it goes further than books and rulers; maybe it's the American system, but the start of a new school year is so hopeful.  In theory, kids start the year with a clean slate; in theory, teachers start the year with ambitious organizational plans.  Everyone's excited, eager, well-rested, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

Borrowing from this energy, I up and mopped our floors last weekend and got four bags of clothes ready for charity this past weekend (thanks to a mailing for the most convenient charity ever).  I feel revitalized, not to mention my new habits of yoga and, um, art class.  What is it, that coming out of these severe weather seasons, we feel so... ready?  Or at least, ready to get ready?  Wouldn't you imagine that it should be the opposite, that we should really gear ourselves up and freshen all these aspects in preparation for the most extremes of cold and hot, that just as we are about to spend time indoors with central air conditioning and heat, then we should declutter and reorganize?  Maybe it has less to do with the seasons in particular and is just a function of every six months.  Subtract the school year, and it could simply be a semiannual urge to clean up and reinvent?  We do (or, are supposed to) go to the dentist every six months, and no matter the pain, it is always a triumphant moment to celebrate one's responsibility and mature attention to hygiene. 

I can't decide which it is, and I certainly don't know why this hits us all, but I am very glad for its far-reaching effects.  And I can't help but notice the apt phrase, turning over a new leaf, can easily belong to either season.

Back to my blogging roots

1. Every time I hang something on the wall, I am utterly convinced the mechanism used to hold it will fail and it will come crashing down.  I even stand and watch it, wide-eyed and waiting, for a minute or two before accepting its stability.  Not a "let me make sure this is straight" moment, more like "I know that wire is going to give out any second" feeling.  Like a child for whom something not visible is not existent, I just don't believe that the wire caught on to the nail.  I know, I can't help it.
2. Pretty sure I'm going to watch the opening to the Emmys every morning for the rest of my days.
3. Tell me, wouldn't you be sad if you were House, and you 'rewrote the understanding of the antihero,' and you were nominated BUT passed over for the nod all your years, and you didn't even get to present a different award?  Maybe it's better not to present what you didn't win.  But I would be so sad if I were House.
4. Of course I would go and get obsessed with a hilarious blog that decided to update once every Haley's Comet.  In the meantime, awful cakes and DIY meets WTF (and, you know, season 3 of Dexter) have been holding me over.
5. Parked in our neighborhood for TWO DAYS was the one, the only, Virginia HGWARTS.  I almost a) died and b) made Justin go get the camera.  Isn't it crazy how an objectively gross pair of nouns (fine, noun acting as an adjective and noun) now conjures up the most supreme, most magnificent magic and majesty worldwide?  Also cruising up BW Parkway was LUVUTOO.  Siiiiiiiiiiigh!  LUV U THREE!!!!
6. Fall is going to bring SO MANY THINGS: 
1. teacher class
2. painting class (?!)
3. MODERN FAMILY &c.
4. demise of dancing?  Time-wise, that would be, in fact, the wisest; Justin says I am less fun when I don't (not a big surprise).  Hm, is it finally time to revise?

Two excited paragraphs and one sad paragraph

Oh my!  Let's talk about how the school year is pretty much here!  Silly things:  It will be crazy and fun to get used to my new name in a very real setting (besides addresses on cards and thank-you notes), there will be a new teacher, so I won't be the newcomer anymore, and I got handed down a whole trash bag of professional clothes (skirt-suits!), which I can use to look like a completely different person in the colder days where I can't wear my pretty skirts.  Sad things: MY DEPARTMENT CHAIR IS LEAVING to a new school and a new position, and I COULD NOT BE SADDER.  Really.  I am so sad.  I love her.  We clicked, you know?  The other teacher I clicked with left, but she started saying that halfway through last school year, and I never worked with her directly.  This one, I did.  Bus duty will never be the same.  :'( .  Wonderful things:  I HAVE THE BEST CASELOAD.  I love these children, I've worked with over half of them last year, and there are NINE.  Last year I had FOURTEEN.  In TWO grade levels.  This year, both fifth grade classes, and I hear those teachers will be phenomenal to work with.  I am so excited and so happy.  I will have a consistent, reasonable schedule!  I will be productive and chart their growth!  And we will make AYP!  Oh yes.

Speaking of school starting, I am so excited for fall.  I am jazzed.  To the max.  Not only because there's that hum in the air as school starts, not only because that means it will decline below 89 degrees once more, not only because I will be earning wages at long last, but because there's a sense of ownership that is totally new to me.  In my new era of cooking (and cooking SEASONALLY!  Imagine that!  I am so sorry, but seriously, Smitten Kitchen has changed my life), crafting, having adult couples friends, and earning two incomes has me feeling so legitimate.  Cooking with the seasons means fresh and tastier than I am ever inclined to notice, but it's the knowledge that I am following along that is so fantastic!  As the longest standing member of this house, I've really made it so pleasant to live and be in and look around in.  Justin has helped.  I feel like I can be such a great homemaker in this environment, with these new and creative and healthy things to eat, and with the style and energy infused in the house, as much as we can.

I didn't mean for this post to end sadly too.  I didn't mean for them to go in this order.  But my friends, I had to do something for the second time in my life (and an even more dire situation than the first time):  I had to pull out my pumpkin plants.  I know.  I know.  I was devastated too.  There were three of them, and yes, eventually they all sprouted, but from the moment they went into the earth, I was concerned.  That dirt is not meant to hold intentional plants.  Weeds, bushes - fine.  Grass, vegetables - almost no chance.  The quality is ridiculous, and though my pumpkins grew fairly quickly at the start, and although they reached a few feet and sprouted a tendril or two, the roots never thickened.  And this worried me greatly.  They were always these spindly things, and, not wanting to relive the MiracleGro Disaster of '99, I just stuck to watering it in between torrential downpours.  I tried to give it better soil.  Nothing was strong enough, and as I saw when visited it the other day, the storms had all but torn it to shreds.  I pulled them up, and sure enough, the roots may as well have been thread.  Sigh.  We must cultivate our gardens, better, next year.

Update 6/28/11:  All ye who found this post by searching "sad paragraph," see the label of the same name for your tutorial and more sad paragraph paraphernalia.