Why can't my kids be this awesome

So many times I look around the world (or, you know, internet) and I think to myself, "Why can't my kids be this awesome?"  Why can't my kids see the value in being this creative, articulate, and self-motivated?

Jezebel showed me this darling nugget, with all the familiar fifth-grade earmarks ("Well let me give you a quick lesson") but with all the unfamiliar comfort and suaveness that I never see!  She uses the word "despise"!  She says "give it a ponder"!  She has all kinds of delightful reasoning and flow and argument and logic and ugh it just makes me so happy.  As Mom notes in the comments, daughter writes way better than she does, which is odd, but okay.  The day any of my kids would take it upon themselves to react to anything like that is the day I know I have succeeded as a teacher.  Until then, it's fail city for me I guess.

Then I found this character, with whose writing habits I am unfamiliar but with whose dancing skills I am overjoyed.  The few seconds he speaks are articulate and a little hilarious, and even though I'm usually all about behaved kids, I am also all about dancing and public displays of joy.  And, he knows all the words.  And, when he kicks, it's totally safe for all people and computers in his range.  In this one, he wears awesome glasses and actually gets shut down by an Apple Store Guy.  If you keep watching them, not that I did, you'll see that eventually, an Apple Store Guy (a different ASG, I assume) dances alongside him for a second as he passes by the camera.  Oh man.  My heart!

And then, speaking of gimmicks that I love, I saw this trailer for this movie about a day in the life of Earth.  This kind of thing makes me so happy.  Yeah, I know it's self-selecting, that most of our lives are super boring, and they are filled with anger, jealousy, hatred, and unrest in general.  I know this probably doesn't represent the millions living in hunger and destitution.  It might actually depict war zones though.  But, without having seen it, who can say!  All I know is that these snippets of everyone else's secret lives thrill me.  Justin hates them; he says it's a bunch of YouTube clips.  He's right.  So, who will come with me?!