- There are a few phrases we should phase out. Don't get me wrong, I'm all about a good turn of words, but a few have been bothering me for a while and I just put my finger on it the other day. The colloquialisms "nothing like," "gotta love," and "is it x enough for you" all attempt some odd blend of sarcasm and meaningless fluff around the actual nouns about to be mentioned. To people who overuse "nothing like:" Come on now, is every one of your experiences that unique? I can think of plenty of things that are like plenty of other things. "Gotta love" makes me uneasy in its overly false cheer about an undoubtedly crummy situation. And, "is it x enough for you" goes right out on the offensive, implying blame at the listener who somehow asked for whatever ridiculous extreme is going on (often weather-related?). I have taken to answering this fantastic reply which I unfortunately did not create, "No, can you make it more x?" World: It is time to think of new things to say.
- So last year was the first time I ever watched American Idol. I got all into it, I had my favorites, I was psyched for gentle Lee DeWyze. But here we are again, into the 10th season, and all I know is that this year's winner sang at some football game halftime to lots of groans, and his album is the lowest debut in a trend of decreasing debuts. After Kelly, who has made it? Carrie Underwood, a distant second. Sadly, by now it's a trite and tired experience that draws in the same 200 million viewers who apparently vehemently don't care by the day after the new Idol wins. Every year, judges make a big stink about how this year is the most talented yet, that Idol has never SEEN such voices, etc etc. But look, how can it be popular again? In any sort of real way?
- So my father-in-law has a breakfast bar with swiveling barstools with backs on them to separate his kitchen from his living room. He sits in the far one by the wall, with his coffee and his cigarettes. The back of the second one, somehow thorough the course of seating everyone else, was becoming increasingly slanted, so that if you leaned hard enough, you might break the whole thing off and fall over. Sitting on it became a little concerning. I sat on the edge of it and didn't even swivel. Then. Then! We visited him, and he had taken the whole back straight off! Without this untrusty support, the whole thing was safer, even if (because!) you were left to your own devices to stay upright. Isn't that a great metaphor for life?
- Attention, Maryland: Purchase snow plows. Understand snow. Let us teach these failing children, so they may not fail.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Here's a numbered list for you! Here are things I have been thinking about recently: